I want to be more than I am. Ive loved many times. Ive lied many times. Ive never cheated. Ive never been so broken. I want life to be better. And I try to make life better. Im free. Im open. Im nothing, but Im something. If Im broken, then fix me. I know the answers but dont like them. I rewrite my future many times, just to find that many times my future is lost. All I am is lost. Never to be found. Never to be heard. Never to be seen. The smile that masks a scared little boy, is the smile that I will give to you tomorrow morning. I am not happy with the life that i chose. Yes, I know the answer, then just so simply change the life I have, but… is it that simple? I have a routine, I have a way of life. Do I like it? No. Am I comfortable? Yes. Is that what I need to change? To take comfort out of the equation would be like trying to take strings off a guitar. There is no point in love if you are comfortable because love should be exciting, fun, new. Love should be your life to explore the vast possibility of the unending freedoms that has been put in front of you at this very moment. I choose to take the hard path because i am bored on the easy one. More tears. More pain. Confused. Broken. Cheated. But rewarding. I guess I’m just waiting for my reward. Im a dreamer and I just hope I can stay asleep long enough to receive it. I wish I was young again. Where my smile wasnt something that hid my pain. A smile was because i was happy. Not because I was trying to be.